My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
