Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
