I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
