i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize