ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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