Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Randomize
