Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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