So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
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