Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Randomize
