I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
