Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Dick very happy bro
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
