Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
