walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
