i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
