"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
