Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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