Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
