i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
the liver wants what the liver wants
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize