on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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