Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
