Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Randomize
