Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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