"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
