Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
and eventually we just all took our pants off
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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