she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
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