do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
