i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Randomize
