She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
And my parents said I crawled through the house
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Randomize
