I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
