I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
