The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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