I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
