i don't like sucking hair
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
