New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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