We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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