It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
