apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
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So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
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I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize