Dude my mom stole all your condoms
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
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I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
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in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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