Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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