Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
