My first STD was from a foam party
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
