She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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