I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Randomize
