As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
