i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
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Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
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I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
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