i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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