you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Randomize
