Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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