Hey man sorry I got all grabby
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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