If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
