She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
