he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
You can't motorboat a personality
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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