so explain again why im purple
no
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
My breasts were aching with rage.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Randomize
