Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
