So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
