Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
