if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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