all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
