I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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