My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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